Bedtime

Jen and I try to alternate Lily's bedtime routine so that she has Dad one night and Mom the next. It never works out to that exact science, but the intent is there.

Bedtime routine consists of the following steps:

1). Every other night there is a bath involved and for a while bath time has been falling to Dada because when Mummy was pregnant with Owen, she had a hard time leaning into the tub. Dada being Dada, I call out to Lily shortly after dinner, "Okay pretty girl, it's time to get NAKED!" to which Lily shrieks in delight and now comes running from wherever she is in the house with no clothes on, proudly announcing, "I naked Dada!" and tub time begins.

2). After tub, we must slather in baby nighttime lotion. When Lily was an infant, this stuff knocked her right out. It was like a saving grace. With 5 months of colic and all of Lily's stomach issues, there were nights when I would stick her in the tub to calm her down and then slather her in this nighttime lotion; she'd conk out within minutes. So far it has worked on Owen, too. I wonder what is in this stuff?!

3). Since at about 16 months or so, Lily helps to pick out her jammies and we get her dressed. "Nanny buy me these jammies, Dada?" she would ask. My mother, also known as Nanny, has a knack for practical gifts for Lily, one of them being pajamas. Jen and I didn't have to buy Lily PJs for well over a year. Even now, the jammies Lily is wearing for summer, I think are the only sets we've bought her.

4). Nails. Oh the drama. From easily 5 or 6 months to the present day, cutting Lily's nails is like preforming surgery. At first, when she was an infant, Jen would cut them while she was sleepy; that worked for a while. Then Lily's assertive and willful nature reared its ugly head and one night while cutting her nails, Lily screamed so loud and cried so hard she turned purple. Nail cutting has evolved since this time. It included Daddy distracting Lily by reading her a story while Mummy trimmed the nails, all the while Lily being distracted, but crying just the same. Then, one night after bath time, just before she turned 2, I talked to her about the need to cut her nails. I said, "Lily, you're a big girl now and there's no crying when Dada cuts your nails, okay?" Lily puckers out her bottom lip and nods her head and says, quietly, "Okay" and she let me cut her nails without a fuss. Jen was pissed that she cooperated for me and has been giving Mummy a hard time for almost her entire life! Nail cutting has its sensory peaks and valleys, but overall, she does much better as long as we prepare her for it.

5). Lily loves books. We read stories just about every night, some of them over and over and over again. For a long time her favorite book was a pop up book about farm animals, featuring the little people. I hated this book, but she loved it because it was interactive, and so we'd read it 2 times before bed. For Jen's baby shower, our moms asked that people bring books instead of a card, so that Lily could build her own library. It was a great idea for the daughter of a teacher and a former English major. Jen and I have been reading to her since before she was born. I'd like to think that her love of books and stories comes from our consistency with reading to her every night. Some of my favorite books include, "On the Night You Were Born" by Nancy Tillman, a book my Auntie and cousin Cathy gave to Lily. I love its message. Another favorite book is one that Mummy bought her called, "Love is a Handful of Honey" by Giles Andreae. It has an awesome message, too. And another favorite of mine is "I love you because you're you". One of Lily's favorites comes from her godmother, Stephanie, called "The Very Hungry Caterpillar" Lily has me read this book over and over at bedtime.

6). After books, it's lights out. However lights out is accompanied by rocking. I bought Jen a rocking chair as a gift when we learned we were expecting Lily. I wanted this to be a family heirloom of sorts, so that she could keep it and nurse all of our children in it. It's still in Lily's room despite Owen's arrival (Owen's room is so small, I don't see how the rocking chair will fit!) and so Lily continues to get to rock before bedtime. Rocking is great. It is cuddle time. Jen and I were both very much against rocking Lily to sleep at night. We wanted her to be able to fall asleep on her own, but I confess there have been many times when I rock Lily until she is fast asleep. One time Jen scolded me for rocking her to sleep too much. I told her that the way I saw it was that there will come a day when Lily falls asleep in some other guy's arms, and that for now, I want her to fall asleep in mine every now and then. Who could argue with that?

7). Music. I mentioned earlier that Lily had 5 months of colic and a whole host of stomach issues including reflux and pyloric stenosis, which required surgery. This kid would not ever go to sleep. She always had a bellyache and both Jen and I were regularly exhausted from the constant crying. We tried everything with her including soft playing music that in early days ranged from Billy Joel to Barry Manilow. Neither ever really worked. For a while we tried a vacuum cleaner running outside of her crib. That actually worked, until we blew the motor in one of the vacuums. Then, late in the summer of Lily's first year, my friend Dawn, who I had worked with for years at Kmart, gave me a CD she used with her son, Kyle, when he was fussy. She told me her mother in law picked it up at Sears and that it worked on Kyle only part of the time when he was a baby, but it was worth a shot. The CD has all sorts of soft lullabies where some have lyrics and others have just instruments. It has worked like a charm ever since Lily was 5 months old. We put the CD on before rocking time and play it on repeat until Jen and I are ready for bed ourselves. The songs blare through the baby monitors throughout the house while we watch TV, but 99.9% of the time, the music helps Lily to relax and fall asleep on her own. Before we retire each night, we set her CD to a timer and it shuts off after 60 minutes. It has come to the point where Jen and I cannot fall asleep without the music ourselves.

Bedtime is one of my favorite times of the day. Not because I need to be alone and don't want to have to cater to my kid, but more so because it is filled with things like bath time fun; stories from great books; music; rocking and most of all cuddle time. I am strangely aware that there will come a time when Lily won't want me to do any of these things with her. She'll become more and more independent and not want to rock or read books or listen to music together. For now, though, I try very hard, even after a long and tiring day, to soak up the bedtime routine as one of those many gifts that come with parenthood. Feeling her soft hand on my shoulder and her breath on my neck as we rock to sleep at night is precious. I have left her room many nights hoping that she always loves me this much.

I sure hope she does.